Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Relax
I don't ever think I have been that relaxed before... during any performance or any practice sessions or anything. My heart rate was incredibly slow... or at least it felt that way.
I just finished my first recital at the colburn school of music. I was the only violinist tonight... which i am extremely happy about. Less pressure :] The whole day I was having this weird stomach thing. I think i was getting nervous.
On the way to colburn, I started singing Jesus loves me, beyond words (tenth ave north), and beloved (tenth ave north). Realizing that God loves you no matter how badly you screw up does wonders for your nerves. I ended up being so relaxed that i started dragging a bit.
All in all, I didn't play the best I wanted too... dragged... then a rushed a little. But this was the very first performance where I was confident in my playing. Being confident, I have slowly realized, doesn't mean that you do your best. It means that you realize that God will love you no matter what happens... that you don't need to prove yourself to others.. because you have already satisfied the master of all things, by simply doing your best.
I just finished my first recital at the colburn school of music. I was the only violinist tonight... which i am extremely happy about. Less pressure :] The whole day I was having this weird stomach thing. I think i was getting nervous.
On the way to colburn, I started singing Jesus loves me, beyond words (tenth ave north), and beloved (tenth ave north). Realizing that God loves you no matter how badly you screw up does wonders for your nerves. I ended up being so relaxed that i started dragging a bit.
All in all, I didn't play the best I wanted too... dragged... then a rushed a little. But this was the very first performance where I was confident in my playing. Being confident, I have slowly realized, doesn't mean that you do your best. It means that you realize that God will love you no matter what happens... that you don't need to prove yourself to others.. because you have already satisfied the master of all things, by simply doing your best.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Sometimes...
Sometimes we runaway from God because we feel that we are not worthy.
Sometimes we need to realize that we don't need to work to gain God's approval because we already have it.
Sometimes we need to stop chasing what we already have.
Sometimes we need to hate ourselves enough to realize that we can't control ourselves.
Sometimes we need to be selfish enough to believe that the greatest being on earth loves us and is willing to guide our lives for us.
Sometimes doing things right doesn't mean doing things perfectly, it means to do them with the mindset that God loves us regardless of what the outcome is.
Sometimes... all the time.
Friday, October 1, 2010
My.Teacher.is.Yoda.
and King Midas... AT THE SAME TIME!!! :O GASP!
No joke.
Have you ever had a teacher soo wonderfully awesome and insightful that your just like *jawdrop*
yeah that would be me right now. So I got a new violin teacher right. SOo crazy..
ok on the off chance that he might read this (highly unlikely) I won't mention his name. haha
So the first time I met him I think he took too many cough drops cause he was sick so he was acting super weird. Really really weird. and he's kinda short too..well not really but he kinda look that way :] YET, he knows EVERYTHING. Like I said, this guy is Yoda.
On another note... he has the golden touch... but for music. I swear everything he plays turns to audible GOLD. He gave me this song couple weeks ago. I didn't really like it... therefore.. I didn't really want to play it. So I went to lesson the other day and he played like different measures to show me what he wanted me to fix... like I said, King Midas this guy. Like when he played I could like imagine a prince charging through battle to rescue his princess. His music tells a story.
He told me this story of a guy's dad he knew. Way back before cheap public transportation and copy machines, there was this guy named Mr. Sheng. He loved the violin. His favorite piece was Ava Maria. There was a violin transcription of the piece, but the only copy was over a hundred miles away in a library. Mr. Sheng walked one hundred miles to this library. walked. seriously he walked. When he got there. He copied the music. note by note. line by line. Then he walked another hundred miles home. Love music people. love. music.
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Princess
So this is a little story i wrote for Childrens story :] It's called
The Princess
There once was a princess who lived in a castle.
life was great and never a hassle.
her father loved her and spoiled her with tassels.
One day an evil man came to her and made a proud pose.
he said "come with me, and i'll give you a rose!"
Her father exclaimed "No! That man will only bring woes!"
Sadly, the princess only saw the beautiful rose,
that actually smelled like stinky toes.
The princess ran away with the man, much to her father's dismay
The king saw her off on that very grey day,
saying, "I love you, I love you! Don't go away!
We have a bouquet of roses! please please stay!"
The man led the princess to a land with no tassels.
where every day was a hassle.
The princess was put to work
as a booking clerk,
soon she went berserk!
She cried "I want to go home"
to my bed and to my comb!
but the evil man yelled, "you can't go home now!"
your father won't allow!
You've run away!
and my prisoner you shall stay!
The princess declared, "then I'll plow..
I'll milk a cow!
I'll have sweat coming off my brow!
Anywhere is better than this!
Because I reminisce
about my father's castle
where there are no hassles."
The princess went back
her father almost had a heart attack!
she explained to him ,"I'm sorry, but I can't be your princess anymore."
I'm not like I was before
I've disobeyed
Left home when you forbade
I'm not worthy of royalty
because I have no loyalty
so, I'll work for my chow!
I'll plow!
I'll even milk a cow!
Then the King turned to her and said,"I love you
I love you"
"you don't need to plow,
or milk a cow!"
"My princess you will always be
because my love for you is as endless as the great blue sea."
Based on the prodigal son.
The Princess
There once was a princess who lived in a castle.
life was great and never a hassle.
her father loved her and spoiled her with tassels.
One day an evil man came to her and made a proud pose.
he said "come with me, and i'll give you a rose!"
Her father exclaimed "No! That man will only bring woes!"
Sadly, the princess only saw the beautiful rose,
that actually smelled like stinky toes.
The princess ran away with the man, much to her father's dismay
The king saw her off on that very grey day,
saying, "I love you, I love you! Don't go away!
We have a bouquet of roses! please please stay!"
The man led the princess to a land with no tassels.
where every day was a hassle.
The princess was put to work
as a booking clerk,
soon she went berserk!
She cried "I want to go home"
to my bed and to my comb!
but the evil man yelled, "you can't go home now!"
your father won't allow!
You've run away!
and my prisoner you shall stay!
The princess declared, "then I'll plow..
I'll milk a cow!
I'll have sweat coming off my brow!
Anywhere is better than this!
Because I reminisce
about my father's castle
where there are no hassles."
The princess went back
her father almost had a heart attack!
she explained to him ,"I'm sorry, but I can't be your princess anymore."
I'm not like I was before
I've disobeyed
Left home when you forbade
I'm not worthy of royalty
because I have no loyalty
so, I'll work for my chow!
I'll plow!
I'll even milk a cow!
Then the King turned to her and said,"I love you
I love you"
"you don't need to plow,
or milk a cow!"
"My princess you will always be
because my love for you is as endless as the great blue sea."
Based on the prodigal son.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
School...and Inception *spoilers*
is not fun :[
ssiigghh haha I had three weeks? of summer break? haha two were at the beginning of summer i think...and one was wheatstone...which was AWESOME! aannyywwaayy yesterday was my first day of fullerton college. The first day of the semester is always SUPER CROWDED cause a bunch of people are trying to petition into classes... since im still a high schooler... i get a later registration date :/ which means that by the time i get to register all the classes are already full...which forces me to petition into classes....sadly more and more ppl are attending comunity colleges cause everywhere else is experiencing budget cuts. sooo i stepped into Psych 101 today and there were 70+ people trying to petition...yes. I counted. It was disgusting. However, i wrote the prof. an essay on why he should take me the day before class. AN ESSAY :P i don't know if i'll get the class but it's worth a shot...or maybe not. it was kinda funny though the first thing he said was :
"Welcome to California. The land of no opportunity." - Dr. Bob Byde
Depressing...yet funny and ironic. He's an interesting man. He has a phd in psychology i think and he's teaching at a junior college...He was married seven times...SEVEN. He says he's had a wife from each continent. CRAZY. He's currently married right now but...man this should go see a psychologist :P but seriously it was take an act of God to get me into this course.
on another note haha i got into two statistics classes... which is EXTREMELY rare. There were 13-15 ppl petitioning for the first one...only 5 got in. For the second one...that's a funny story haha... so the teacher told all the petitioners to choose a number between 1 to 100. So i picked the God number..."77" . I was convinced that I wasn't going to get into this class...but then he called out the number 73. I got in. There were like 10-12 people and only 4 got in. Miracle. No joke.
*SPOILERS*
So I saw inception today...super awesome haha so as for the ending...i think it was real... cause the top was about to fall....ANND whenever he's in a dream..he has a ring on. and at the end he doesn't have a ring on. Don't try to say cause "oh he doesn't have a ring anymore cause he finally let go of his wife" ahh ha see at the beginning/end when he goes back for old Satio he's wearing a ring and thats after he lets go of his wife.. :] Sooo much awesome stuff in this movie btw..i'd really like to discuss it with someone :P It's actually A LOT less confusing than Dark Knight...or Prestige (both by Christopher Nolan).
sooo things I found interesting:
1. ok how did Cobb end up washing up on the shores again? I mean he went from with his projection of his wife...to the shores...Weird... haha
2. The concept of the movie seemed to revolve are planting seeds in people's minds/heart. Hmmm... anything to do with how to spread christianity? :P idk maybe maybe not :/ also it sends the message of careful what you put in your mind.
3. also the totem..OHHMMMGGEEE ok the totem is like a hold on reality! soo awesome. and when Mol locked away her totem. She lost her hold on reality. She lost sight of the better things and traded it for fantasy. Descent Into Hell anyone? haha she went insane in reality too...
4. the kick is....sooo interesting haha so every time they get outta a dream they have to kill themselves. This might sound longwinded or even a little crazy...but imagine that our selfish desires...our selfish wants are all a dream. In order to accept the true reality (goodness, truth, beauty) we must die in our unreal feigned realities.
"You have tasted of death now, is it good?"
ssiigghh haha I had three weeks? of summer break? haha two were at the beginning of summer i think...and one was wheatstone...which was AWESOME! aannyywwaayy yesterday was my first day of fullerton college. The first day of the semester is always SUPER CROWDED cause a bunch of people are trying to petition into classes... since im still a high schooler... i get a later registration date :/ which means that by the time i get to register all the classes are already full...which forces me to petition into classes....sadly more and more ppl are attending comunity colleges cause everywhere else is experiencing budget cuts. sooo i stepped into Psych 101 today and there were 70+ people trying to petition...yes. I counted. It was disgusting. However, i wrote the prof. an essay on why he should take me the day before class. AN ESSAY :P i don't know if i'll get the class but it's worth a shot...or maybe not. it was kinda funny though the first thing he said was :
"Welcome to California. The land of no opportunity." - Dr. Bob Byde
Depressing...yet funny and ironic. He's an interesting man. He has a phd in psychology i think and he's teaching at a junior college...He was married seven times...SEVEN. He says he's had a wife from each continent. CRAZY. He's currently married right now but...man this should go see a psychologist :P but seriously it was take an act of God to get me into this course.
on another note haha i got into two statistics classes... which is EXTREMELY rare. There were 13-15 ppl petitioning for the first one...only 5 got in. For the second one...that's a funny story haha... so the teacher told all the petitioners to choose a number between 1 to 100. So i picked the God number..."77" . I was convinced that I wasn't going to get into this class...but then he called out the number 73. I got in. There were like 10-12 people and only 4 got in. Miracle. No joke.
*SPOILERS*
So I saw inception today...super awesome haha so as for the ending...i think it was real... cause the top was about to fall....ANND whenever he's in a dream..he has a ring on. and at the end he doesn't have a ring on. Don't try to say cause "oh he doesn't have a ring anymore cause he finally let go of his wife" ahh ha see at the beginning/end when he goes back for old Satio he's wearing a ring and thats after he lets go of his wife.. :] Sooo much awesome stuff in this movie btw..i'd really like to discuss it with someone :P It's actually A LOT less confusing than Dark Knight...or Prestige (both by Christopher Nolan).
sooo things I found interesting:
1. ok how did Cobb end up washing up on the shores again? I mean he went from with his projection of his wife...to the shores...Weird... haha
2. The concept of the movie seemed to revolve are planting seeds in people's minds/heart. Hmmm... anything to do with how to spread christianity? :P idk maybe maybe not :/ also it sends the message of careful what you put in your mind.
3. also the totem..OHHMMMGGEEE ok the totem is like a hold on reality! soo awesome. and when Mol locked away her totem. She lost her hold on reality. She lost sight of the better things and traded it for fantasy. Descent Into Hell anyone? haha she went insane in reality too...
4. the kick is....sooo interesting haha so every time they get outta a dream they have to kill themselves. This might sound longwinded or even a little crazy...but imagine that our selfish desires...our selfish wants are all a dream. In order to accept the true reality (goodness, truth, beauty) we must die in our unreal feigned realities.
"You have tasted of death now, is it good?"
"It is good, it is better than life."
"No, it is only more life." - The Golden Key (Copied from Gabriel)
5. Notice in every "dream-mission" they have. Mol always messes things up. After he confronted Mol and finally let go of her...everything we better...kinda. Letting go kinda like up the scene where Carl lets the house float away at the end.
No matter how great dreams and fantasies may seem... Reality is always better. :]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)