Hilary Hahn

I truly believe that I will never forget tonight.  I went to violin today and right outside my teacher's teaching room was a poster for this event:
"December 9th: Hilary Hahn Lecture/Demo

As part of the Los Angeles Philharmonic Master Encounter series for the Colburn Conservatory of Music, violinist Hilary Hahn will be giving a lecture/​demo on Thursday, December 9th at 6:00PM in Thayer Hall. The event is open to the public and free."

I almost died when I saw that.  I was kinda debating whether I should go or not cause I actually have finals next week.  But my mom told me "hey, finals will come and go.. but this is Hilary Hahn".  So I got a ride from a friend and oh MY GOOODNESS! I will never forget this night. 

   The past two weeks I've been getting really frustrated that I haven't really made any like "level" improvements in the past 5 years (Even though I practice my butt off).  but this was a huge wake up for me.  It reminded me that music is not about levels of skill or competition.  It's about Beauty.  Soul. God. 

   I sat within about 100 ft of her and asked her a question in the Q&A part of the lecture.  She played two mvts of unaccompanied Bach at the end.  It was seriously one of thee most beautiful things I've ever heard.  The hall was pretty small...but warm and intimate.  My teacher once told me "playing unaccompanied Bach is very intimate.  It's a place where you meet God".  Because I was sitting so close to her, I could feel the intimacy in her playing.  I could feel the personal aspects of every bow change and every note.... especially in the slow mvt. (she played one fast and one slow mvt.)  If she was doing this for money the seat I occupied tonight (the floor..thanks to crowds of people there)...would probably cost 75-100 dollars....i think.  The experience of it, I believe, is worth much more.  I am so fortunate to have gotten all this for free. 

   I actually brought my cell phone and I was going to take a picture or a video of her.  But my phone died right when I sat down.... This was a good thing though.  If I had been obsessed with recording everything I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much as I did.  A simple camera can not capture beauty quite as well as the human ear and mind can.  On the other hand my friend did get a 10 second clip of her playing... it's kinda bad quality but hey... it's a camera phone :P 

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=990268736384

All in all.  Amazing night.  I am eternally grateful.  Thank you God. 

Psych Prof.

I love this guy.. SOOO FUNNY

"Allomony is a cheap word for all the money"
"Imagine if your at Las Vegas...or Loss wages"
"I put your timed essays into 3 piles.  The ones that had nothing on them I put in my John Locke Pile"
"If you ask a guy why he got a good grade he'll say "i'm smart" you ask a girl, she'll say "I studied"

T-90 mins

At this very moment in time in the town in walnut, Young Joycelyn was exactly 15 years old 364 days 23 hours and 9 mins.

...

At this very momment in the town of walnut, young Joycelyn was approximantly 15 years, 364 days, 16 hours, and 21 mins years old.  gotta love pushing dasies. 

Relax

I don't ever think I have been that relaxed before...  during any performance or any practice sessions or anything.  My heart rate was incredibly slow... or at least it felt that way.
      I just finished my first recital at the colburn school of music.  I was the only violinist tonight... which i am extremely happy about.  Less pressure :]  The whole day I was having this weird stomach thing.  I think i was getting nervous.
     On the way to colburn, I started singing Jesus loves me, beyond words (tenth ave north), and beloved (tenth ave north).  Realizing that God loves you no matter how badly you screw up does wonders for your nerves.  I ended up being so relaxed that i started dragging a bit.
     All in all, I didn't play the best I wanted too... dragged... then a rushed a little.  But this was the very first performance where I was confident in my playing.  Being confident, I have slowly realized, doesn't mean that you do your best.  It means that you realize that God will love you no matter what happens... that you don't need to prove yourself to others.. because you have already satisfied the master of all things, by simply doing your best.

Sometimes...

Sometimes we runaway from God because we feel that we are not worthy.  

Sometimes we need to realize that we don't need to work to gain God's approval because we already have it.  

Sometimes we need to stop chasing what we already have.

Sometimes we need to hate ourselves enough to realize that we can't control ourselves. 

Sometimes we need to be selfish enough to believe that the greatest being on earth loves us and is willing to guide our lives for us. 

Sometimes doing things right doesn't mean doing things perfectly, it means to do them with the mindset that God loves us regardless of what the outcome is.  

Sometimes... all the time. 

My.Teacher.is.Yoda.

and King Midas... AT THE SAME TIME!!!  :O GASP!

No joke.

Have you ever had a teacher soo wonderfully awesome and insightful that your just like *jawdrop*

yeah that would be me right now.  So I got a new violin teacher right.  SOo crazy.. 

ok on the off chance that he might read this (highly unlikely) I won't mention his name. haha

So the first time I met him I think he took too many cough drops cause he was sick so he was acting super weird.  Really really weird.  and he's kinda short too..well not really but he kinda look that way :] YET, he knows EVERYTHING.  Like I said, this guy is Yoda.  

On another note... he has the golden touch... but for music.  I swear everything he plays turns to audible GOLD.   He gave me this song couple weeks ago.  I didn't really like it... therefore.. I didn't really want to play it.  So I went to lesson the other day and he played like different measures to show me what he wanted me to fix... like I said, King Midas this guy.  Like when he played I could like imagine a prince charging through battle to  rescue his princess.  His music tells a story. 

    

He told me this story of a guy's dad he knew.  Way back before cheap public transportation and copy machines, there was this guy named Mr. Sheng.  He loved the violin.  His favorite piece was Ava Maria.    There was a violin transcription of the piece, but the only copy was over a hundred miles away in a library.  Mr. Sheng walked one hundred miles to this library.  walked.  seriously he walked.  When he got there.  He copied the music.  note by note.  line by line.  Then he walked another hundred miles home.  Love music people.  love. music.